Daily Battles
Friday, April 4, 2008
Every day i wake up and I love being a mom. That being said sometimes Jackson does things that make me want to lock myself in the bathroom. Jackson is a sweet and loving boy and can be really funny sometimes, but he has this alter ego, and when the "evil twin" emerges it's like my worst nightmare. Here are the struggles Jackson and I deal with every single day. Perhaps all you expereinced mothers can provide some insight to this "novice" parent.
1. Morning meal: Jackson is very independent. He knows what he wants every day. So I give him choices. "Cereal or Oatmeal?" I ask. "Oatmeal." Easy enough. I make his oatmeal, sit him in his seat and he is just fine...until I bring out MY cereal (which he could have chosen in the beginning). All of a sudden he wants whatever I am eating and will have nothing to do with what he has. So I end up with half a breakfast and Jackson gets to eat half of mine AND all his oatmeal! I thought I was eating for 2! Even if we eat the SAME thing, he does this. Lately I've been getting up before Jackson just to eat breakfast so I don't have to deal with this.
2. Getting into the car: Jackson has no problem being in his carseat. But he's decided he wants to get in and out of his seat by himself (I help with buckling). It has turned my quick trips to the store or the post office into a 3 hour production. As soon as we go outside he takes off running right to the mud. once I finally convince him to get in the car, he has to do it himself. Once he gets in the car and begins to climb into his seat (which is a 15 minute process in itself) he decides he'd rather run around inside the car (with muddy shoes) and avoid any attempt at me grabbing him. If I get so fed up that I try to force him in his seat he arches his back and screams so there is no way I can buckle him. Or I can spend 30 minutes convincing (bribing) him to get in his seat.
3. Airplanes: A few months ago Greg and I found a lot of cute songs and movies on youtube for kids. There are songs about cars, vegetables, letters, animals anything! We thought it was great because it was the perfect length for Jackson's attention span . Lately Jackson has found a new obsession with airplanes. He can spot an airplane anywhere in the sky even on a cloudy day. So we thought it would be fun to watch movies about airplanes on youtube. Surprisingly, youtube has a series of videos of airplanes taking off and landing at the airport. To say that Jackson loves them is a huge understatement. He asks to watch airplanes probably 8 times a day. But watching these clips make him frantic. He needs more airplanes "right now!" If one is going to slow he starts to freak out and a tantrum ensues. If I click on the wrong show he's hysterical. I started cutting back on the airplanes because he gets so crazy. I'm glad he's not an alcoholic. We probably still have a tantrum 3 times a day when I say "we are all done with airplanes"
I know these seem like silly things and that I should be counting my blessings, but these silly things make up my life and seem like a huge deal to me. Am i just being overly sensitive? Is he just doing 2 year old things that he will grow out of eventually? Should I be doing something different with my parenting that would make both of our lives happier and easier? If this is what the terrible two's are, I can't wait until he turns 3. Only 355 days to go.
April 4, 2008 at 12:54 PM
I don't know much about kids...but I do know there is a reason they call is the "terrible 2s". I remember my mom teling me stories me me throwing tantrums pretty similar to those. That being said, YOU are the one you is there dealing with it...so I'm sorry :(
I wish I had some wors of advice. I only can offer my consolation. Sorry.
We still love Jackson!
April 4, 2008 at 2:34 PM
Jackson sounds just like Leah. She does the whole eating thing, running away when we need to put shoes on, change a diaper, etc., throwing tantrums. I know how you feel. Being pregnant doesn't help either. I just pray every day (multiple times) that I will have patience and not get too upset that I do something that I will regret. I also have to remember that Leah has agency and I can't force her to do anything (like laying down for naps, eating, etc.) I am trying to learn how to use persuasion (not bribery) to get her to do things. I always wondered why it says persuasion in d&c 121:41 but now I'm starting to understand why. Good luck, it is a daily battle.
April 4, 2008 at 8:18 PM
He's two. Believe it or not, he will grow out of it. And I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but the 3's can be pretty terrible, too. However, kids can express more verbally and you can start to reason with them a little. It helps. I like to refer to the book "Love and Logic: Parenting from Birth to Six Years." It talks a lot about offering choices when it doesn't matter and taking control when it does matter. It sometimes works, which is better than never. Good luck.
Sarah
p.s. Being pregnant makes a huge difference. I hope that my children have no memories of me during my pregnancies.
p.p.s. You might have to repeat phrases like, "Change your voice," and "It's mom's turn to choose" a million times (no exaggeration), but I promise you as he gets older it will get better.
April 4, 2008 at 10:45 PM
I totally know what you mean with Jackson wanting your food. Bryson will have his own plate of what he wants and as soon as Chris or myself get something different to eat he wants what we have. Or he won't even eat his plate if we have the same thing, he will eat off of Chris's plate. For some reason, ours always tastes better. I think the "Terrible 2's" phase is when we as parents, as mommy's, really start learing patience. Bryson is only 18 months but it has already begun.
Just a side note...I used to live in Wilsonville! I was in the Wilsonville ward. My family lived there for 6 years, so i know mostly everybody the Limbs, the Willis's, the Barney's. Clark Limb was my bishop. Infact Chris and I will be there in July for my best friends wedding. We will have to give you guys a call!
April 5, 2008 at 8:40 AM
Jackson is definitely a typical 2 year old! And, yes you are being sensitive, but pregnancy will do that to you! ;-) I find that it is easier to take the choices away if Julia can't "handle them". Also remember to pick your battles. I think by doing so, you can teach kids that you are in charge and allow them to have just enough independence. Finding that balance is tough, but it does get easier! :-) He will never be 2 again, so sometimes all you can do is laugh and enjoy it!
April 10, 2008 at 7:43 PM
A two year old finds many things in life out of his control, so he tries to control the few things he has a say in. It's normal but very frustrating. It's important NOT to take it personally. To my little hysterical Angela sprawling on the floor, I used to say, I'm sorry you're sad. I love you and when you feel better come read a book with me. It works sometimes! Just remember, with childraising NOTHING stays the same forever. You go in and out of stages all the time. You are a wonderful mom.