It's the first bit of advice I get from every mother. Pick your battles or your kids will drive you insane. I've only just learned what this means.

I used to pick every battle. You must eat your food. You must not hit. You must not color on walls. You must get in your carseat. You must wear shoes. You must clean up your messes. You must not pour laundry detergent on your brothers head.

The problem was, every battle I fought, needed to be fought. And Jackson is so hard to fight, because he picks so many things to fight. 'Do you want to wear your red coat or your green one?' 'No coat!' he yells. 'Lets clean up our toys!' I say. 'No! I am watching a movie. You do it!' (sigh)

So I got burned out. Fighting so many battles can exhaust anyone. But how do you pick? Safety is important. Eating is important. Warmth is important. I felt like I didn't know when to let it go. I felt like I had already whittled it down to the essentials. So things got let go when I would be too tired to fight back. 'Pick your battles' I would say under my breath, trying to justify my weak parenting.

But I did it all wrong. I still asked. Please pick up your toys. Ignore. Sigh and pick them up myself. Please say sorry for hitting Bennett. Ignore. Sigh and hold Bennett until he calms down.

So Jackson got in a really good habit of ignoring me, knowing I was too taxed emotionally, mentally, and physically to push harder.

Here is what I SHOULD have done. I should only ask him to do things (or not do things) if I am sure to follow through. Then when I speak, he listens. I'm working on that now. I am reading "1-2-3 Magic" by Thomas Phelan and it's been a big help. In fact I have 4 parenting books sitting on my mantel that I hope will whip me into shape. Or at least my children.

I still pick lots of battles, but now Jackson knows there is a conseguence. So he either shapes up quickly or knows there will be repercussions. I'm hoping with time, the number of battles I have to pick will lessen with time.

It's getting better. My kids played together tonight for almost a half an hour. I put my book down and just listened. I hope that age only helps these boys grow closer.