Greg is turning 30 this year. He has exactly 3 months, 2 weeks and 1 day from having to put away childish things and become a man. So when I stumbled across the flier for a local talent show "Plymouth's Got Talent" I knew re-living the glory days of being lead singer of his garage band from high school was just the way to give him one final hurrah.

So I signed him up. Luckily he went for it, because that is a $20 sign up fee I was never going to see again.

His group was for ages 15+ and as he walked in, it was clear that the demographic of the contest was all at least 10 years his junior. And female.

Week one would advance only 5 finalists to round 2. Fortunately, only 6 people signed up to sing in Greg's age bracket. So he attempted to embrace his youthfulness (and fit in with the other contestants) by singing a mash up of Coldplay's "Viva La Vida" with Taylor Swift's "Love Story." Despite some technical difficulties and being called up earlier than planned (and a flubbed joke where you could almost feel the heat from the crash and burn), he made it through to the next round as the last contestant to be called.

Words cannot describe the relief I felt that he was not the only elimination for a local talent contest of high schoolers. In fact, I think I may have cheered a little louder than necessary as evidenced by the glances of the other stage moms in a mostly silent room.

Flash forward to week 2 (The Finals). Greg agonized over what to play, and even what to wear after receiving the following score sheet from one of the judges (see "Appearance"):



I had to do some ego massaging to ensure he didn't think he is just a 5 out of 10 in the looks department. In fact, he has his 6 or 7 moments regularly.

He decided to step it up a notch by performing two songs this time, and attempting to strike the "humor" chord with the judges. Left by the wayside was the mash from the previous week (already been done), a song called "Epileptic Dogs" (I nixed that, and thankfully his brother backed me up), and Boys II Men's "Down on Bended Knee" (didn't feel he could do it justice without more practice).

So...he decided to round up his best Bieber-ish attire and did a rousing rendition of "Never Say Never."



He even flipped up his hoodie halfway through. I don't know what the judges thought, but I do know that at least one 8 year old girl sang the song in its entirety next to me as I filmed. One satisfied customer at least. It may have been lost on the judges, however, as the younger judge (age 16) had to inform the older judges that the number was a Justin Bieber song.

He then followed up with a Flight of the Conchords original "The Tape of Love," a revival of a performance from 2 years ago at Wisconsin. The humor again, though, was lost on the judges. They may have believed it was a legitimate love anthem to me, his dear wife. I mean who wouldn't be confused with lyrics like "Brown paper, White paper, stick it together with the tape, the tape of love..." I'll bet the 8 year-old girl was cracking up though.

So after the final deliberation, Greg's heart was broken as he didn't recieve as much as a framed certificate for his efforts. But in true Greg fashion, he couldn't let this experience go. In his attempts to live and relive the events of his performance, he catalogued the entire process in a cheesy video documentary. Because, if you can't beat only 5 people in a local talent show, the least you can do is make a youtube video that just might go viral.

And there is nothing says "last hurrah" to a 29 year-old than a youtube video gone viral:



The full performances can be seen here: (Justin Bieber)



And here: (Flight of the Conchords)



$20 well spent. And Greg, don't worry I'd take you over those high school sophomore girls any day...