Team Rose

The team is in a rebuilding year after relocating the franchise from the Rose Garden of Portland, Oregon to the frozen tundra of Madison, Wisconsin only a few weeks after drafting new rookie Bennett Rose in July.

The following players are locked up with lifetime contracts and expect to contribute this season.

Heidi "Home Court Advantage" Rose
Height: 5'4"
Weight: much less since the rookie was drafted

Averages 4.2 llw's (loads of laundry a week), 1.7 mpd's (meals per day), has a vertical just high enough to hide destructive objects, and is quick enough to run down a two year old on a "fast break" in the mall.

Heidi started the year as a role player, but since moving to Wisconsin has risen to superstar status, showing her versatility by playing several different positions at once. She played an integral part in signing rookie Bennett Rose, and only ten days after his arrival assisted in moving the franchise out of the Rose Garden.

Her season highlights include receiving a surprise campout at Silver Falls, having her husband home for a month during the move, and a cruise in L.A. before Bennett came along.

Greg "Glory Days Are Over" Rose
Height: 6'2"
Weight: much more since the rookie was drafted

Averages 67.5 hours of studying each week (film-room warrior), 2.3 new marketing terms learned per week (value proposition anyone?), has a 12 to 1 ratio of 3-pointers taken to passes made in church pickup ball. Also develops killer scouting reports on potential places to intern this summer.

Greg is easily the most expensive team member and drains the team's entire salary cap while earning his MBA at the University of Wisconsin. As a result of time commitments, his game has suffered a bit and the nine-three-pointers-in-a-row explosion witnessed in his last pickup game in Oregon is unlikely to resurface anytime soon.

Last season in Portland, he took an NBA road trip, recruiting candidates for his day job (Game Face) in cities like Charlotte, Indianapolis, Los Angeles, Salt Lake, New York, Chicago, Boston, and Dallas.

Two things he is currently excited about are the basketball hoop recently purchased for Jackson, and an upcoming 10 day trip to Istanbul, Turkey.

Jackson "Whirling Dervish" Rose
Height: 3'1"
Weight 35 pounds

Ranked as the rivals.com #3 most active child in the upper Midwest, scouts describe his game as "bouncy" with "a motor that never stops" and an "extremely vocal leader on and off the court." He is able to effectively utilize a chair to make up for his lack of height and he pushes that thing around the kitchen at record-breaking speeds.

Jackson's game this year has been through several ups and downs as his routine has been changed numerous times. This has led him to develop a little European flair to his game with what we call the "Tantrum Flop."

Despite his budding athletic ability, we occasionally catch him singing showtunes from Hairspray and Rent. We see a High School Musical-esque conflict in his future. He has embraced the new team member, Bennett, and has been caught on several occasions giving him nose-to-nose pep talks.

Bennett "Mellow Yellow" Rose
Height: 2'2"
Weight: 18 pounds

Bennett averages 3.4 DPD (Diapers per day) and boasts a 92% happiness percentage (the other 8% due to those nose-to-nose pep talks). He reaches record heights in his bouncy seat and now dons two teeth.

Bennett has been a great addition to Team Rose, improving the team chemistry with a cheerful disposition. He has perfected spit bubbles as his way of intimidating the competition. He is a fan favorite among the ladies with his stylish curly cue cowlick and his "eat sleep and play all night" personality.
He's been slacking on his conditioning this year, and has earned a nickname as the "round mound of just laying around." With his numerous leg rolls and large head size, team doctors project him to be the heftiest team member yet.

Merry Christmas from Greg, Heidi, Jackson and Bennett Rose